Braun Strowman & Elias vs Shinsuke Nakamura & Cesaro
Elias and Strowman almost sang a song together and then the heels came down.
Elias took out Cesaro with double knees after he did an oldschool rope walk. That was cool.
Elias was distracted by Zayn as Cesaro took Elias out of the ring and Nakamura landed a kick before Strowman took him out with a shoulder tackle.
THEY AIRED AN XFL COMMERCIAL BEFORE WE CAME BACK
Elias was trying to fight his way out of the heels’ corner, but it wasn’t working. Zayn hyped his team, but Nakamura stopped him from getting to Braun. Then Strowman was knocked off the apron. Nakamura nailed a kick to the head and then he finally tagged Braun.
Strowman made sure that Nakamura got those hands. He hit a splash and then a hammering clubbing blow to his chest. Nakamura moved and Strowman hit a turnbuckle and then Cesaro took a tag and they sent Braun into the post and hit a double Russian leg sweep before Nakamura nailed a running knee for a two count.
Elias took a tag and hit a flying elbow on Cesaro for the win.
Winners: Braun Strowman & Elias
Big E was backstage and he was VERY oiled up. He said “if your boy is greasy then eliminating me can’t be easy.” Yeah. Kofi is facing Morrison next. That’s exciting.
King Corbin was backstage and he’s not concerned about their match on Sunday.
Kofi Kingston vs John Morrison
The Miz made sure to plug his reality show. They officially entered the Royal Rumble.
Morrison backed Kofi into the corner and Kofi pushed back. They ducked and avoided each other’s kicks with flips for a minute and then Morrison sent Kofi into the corner to hit a monkey flip, but Kofi landed on his feet and then he sent Morrison flipping onto his face.
Morrison sent Kingston outside and then Morrison missed a dive and Kofi landed on him in return.
When we came back from commercial, Kofi was fighting out of a half crab from Morrison. Kofi landed a kick from the apron and then Morrison rolled through a roll-up and kicked Kofi in the face.
Morrison missed a Starship Pain and Kofi went to the apron. He hit a springboard chop and a dropkick, but Morrison came back with a kick and then he sent Kofi to the corner and Kofi sent John into the corner and hit a double stomp to the chest for a two count.
Morrison countered a Trouble In Paradise with a kick to the head for a two count. Eventually Morrison took control and hit Starship Pain for the win.
Winner: John Morrison
Contract Signing
Michael Cole hyped the Universal Title Strap Match. Bryan came out first.
Bray Wyatt came out next… well. He appeared on the screen. He was trying to send a fax. He couldn’t figure out how to get the fax machine to send the contract. Then it finally worked.
Wyatt asked why Bryan would “willingly tie yourself to him — IT’S MADNESS!” Bryan told him to cut the crap and he told him to come out and sign the contract. Wyatt said that wasn’t a nice thing to say. He’s not sick. He’s never been better.
He said his attorney Mercy The Buzzard advised him to stay there in the Firefly Fun House instead. Bryan said all Wyatt does is run from his past mistakes. This Sunday The Fiend won’t be able to run.
Wyatt was triggered by the word of the day “mistake.” Then Wyatt said this is all about Daniel’s big mistake. He never learned his lesson. Now it’s time to pay.
Another thing is that since The Fiend is competing this Sunday it’s only fitting that he sign the contract. Michael Cole started to get out of the ring as the lights went down.
Then The Fiend appeared holding the strap. Bryan went right after him and Fiend latched on the Mandible Claw in the corner. The red light was on as well. Then Fiend nailed a Sister Abigail.
Then The Fiend appeared holding the strap. Bryan went right after him and Fiend latched on the Mandible Claw in the corner. The red light was on as well. Then Fiend nailed a Sister Abigail.
Fiend started to whip Daniel Bryan and he whipped him good and A LOT. The Fiend hugged himself, sat at the table, and signed the contract with his own blood as he stabbed himself in the hand.
A fan could be heard yelling: “YOU ARE SICK!” as The Fiend left a bloody hand print. The crowd chanted “you’ve got issues” at Wyatt as he posed over Bryan.
When the lights came back up, Bryan was laying there with his new eco-friendly t-shirt all ripped up and strap welts all over his back.
