Big E Says He Didn’t Think He’d Survive His 20s Amid Depression and Psychosis Battle

WWE personality Big E delivered one of the most emotional moments during a recent panel discussion when he opened up about the mental health struggles he battled long before becoming a champion in WWE.

The conversation took place during a panel featuring Big E and WWE Hall of Famer Rey Mysterio and was later uploaded to YouTube by Adrian Hernandez of Unruly. While the discussion focused on mental wellness and coping strategies, Big E took the opportunity to speak honestly about his own experience with depression and psychosis during his college years.

After introducing himself and mentioning that he is now working as a WWE broadcaster following the neck injury that ended his in-ring career, Big E explained how important mental wellness has become in his life. He then revealed that during his younger years he experienced severe mental health struggles and even went through a period of psychosis that left him feeling hopeless about his future.

“My name is Big E. I am a broadcaster now for WWE. I was a wrestler until I broke my neck in three places, but I'm doing really well now. Mental wellness means a lot to me. I was someone who had a lot of struggles with depression, with psychosis. I was actually a psycho for a month in college. I didn't think I'd even make it out of my 20s, but I'm 40 now. Thank you very much. I am here. The reason I am still here, I am alive and I'm thriving, I'm happy and healthy, is because I went to therapy. I found tools like mindfulness and meditation. And now working on my mental health is something that is vitally important to me. I never thought that I could have so much happiness in my life, that I could have this career of mine. I was someone who was so hopeless for so long, but eventually I got the tools that I needed to get better and I'm so thankful for that. I love having these conversations because I think mental wellness, mental health is so vitally important.”

Later in the panel, Big E went deeper into the practices that helped him stabilize his mental health over time. He explained that meditation and mindfulness became critical tools for him, especially because he grew up in a sports culture where men were often discouraged from talking about emotional struggles. Big E said he didn’t even know those resources existed until a friend recommended a meditation app. Once he started practicing regularly, it slowly helped him change the way he processed stress and negative thoughts.

“I'm just a big believer in meditation. For a lot of people I think meditation can be something that needs to be demystified because growing up I played football and we grow up with understanding like talking about mental health — as a man you're always told you keep your problems to yourself. You internalize everything. That's what masculinity is. Like you don't tell people about what you're going through. Don't talk about any of that stuff. So I didn't have any of these tools. I didn't know anything about them. But thankfully I had a friend who suggested this app called Headspace. There's a lot of great apps out there. And several years ago I started on Headspace.”

Big E explained that the importance of those practices became even more clear during the COVID-19 pandemic. Living alone and suddenly being cut off from normal social interaction made him realize he needed to actively protect his mental health.

“When the pandemic hit, as someone who was struggling with my mental health, I live alone. And I thought if I don't do something for my mental health, being home every single day with very little interaction with other people, I could lose so much of my progress, I could really spiral. So that was the time I decided to really jump into mindfulness and meditation. And it changed my life. It's something that I only do for about 10 minutes a day. It doesn't require that much of you, but it has allowed me to stay more present in my body.”

He also explained how meditation helps bring his mind back to the present moment instead of being overwhelmed by past regrets or future worries.

“There are times where you go for a walk and then you realize you don't even remember the last couple minutes because your mind is somewhere else thinking about the past or the future. Meditation helps bring me back to the present. I stop worrying about what's coming up. I stop being so hard on myself. I just come back to the moment.”

Big E’s comments provided a rare glimpse into the personal challenges many performers deal with away from the spotlight, and his willingness to discuss therapy, meditation, and mental health openly struck a powerful chord during the panel discussion.

What do you think about Big E sharing such a personal story about his battle with depression and psychosis? Do you think conversations like this help break the stigma around mental health in wrestling and sports? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

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