In just a few weeks’ time, Hell in a Cell will be here. Everyone’s favorite bastardized gimmick match is back just in time for the yearly PPV. With bitter blood feuds taking place, there’s a lot of options for potential Cell matches. But out of all these potential options, which matches would be the worst possible choices?
Strap in as we go on a journey to find out the worst possible Hell in a Cell matches WWE could book with the storylines that they have right now.
The B-Team v. The Revival v. Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins v. Drew McIntyre & Dolph Ziggler
By any chance, does anyone remember the Fatal Four-Way tag team match from Clash of Champions last year? Remember how confusing and exciting that whole match was? What if we had that, but inside the Hell in a Cell structure?
It would be easy to book. The Revival was robbed of a title match. The B-Team are owed a rematch, and Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins have legitimate beef with Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre. While a fatal-four way match wouldn’t be the most absurd idea ever, placing it in the Cell would be.
For starters, the format of a fatal four way tag team match doesn’t really lend itself well to the Hell in a Cell format. Either the contestants spend too much time outside the ring using the cell, or they don’t use it enough. And with all those people in the Cell (there’d be eight competitors), it would get more than a little confusing.
An argument could be made for Rollins and Ambrose to face Ziggler and McIntyre inside the Cell, but once those other teams are added, it becomes a less viable option.
Shinsuke nakamura’s united states title defense
We are just two weeks away from Hell in a Cell, and Shinsuke Nakamura does not have a match on the card yet. He’s been pretty much AWOL these past few weeks. In fact, he may not even be featured on the card this September 16.
But let’s say R-Truth or Tye Dillinger earns an opportunity at Nakamura’s United States Championship. There is no way it would take place inside the Devil’s Playground. This may sound odd, but it’s just a championship match. There’s no real bad blood or anything like that.
Aside from that, two weeks is not nearly enough time to build towards a Cell match. Back before they had the yearly event, I assume feuds went on for months before whoever was in charge just said “screw it, lock those two in the Cell and let them kill each other.”
And to be brutally honest, there’s no way WWE would “waste” (poor word choice, but I don’t know how else to phrase it) a marquee match on Sin Cara v. Shinsuke Nakamura. For the United States Championship. No way.
alexa bliss v. ronda rousey
At Summerslam, multiple-time Women’s Champion and former Ms. Money in the Bank Alexa Bliss got her ass handed to her by Ronda Rousey in like 5 minutes, Bliss then announced on Raw that she would be invoking her rematch clause at Hell in a Cell. Let’s hope it’s not inside the sinister steel cage.
If Rousey defeated Bliss in less time than it takes for me to take a quick shower, then she shouldn’t . Having the match take place inside Hell in a Cell just seems like a waste. Because either the match is ten minutes of Ronda Rousey just beating the hell out of Alexa Bliss, or it’s ten minutes of Alexa Bliss getting offense in against Ronda Rousey. Neither of those seem preferable.
Alexa’s strange aversion to bumps means that the supposedly “brootal” Hell in a Cell match will be anything but. And Alexa spending 10 minutes using the cage against Rousey will be highly unrealistic. She just lost in five minutes and suddenly she can stand toe-to-toe with Rousey in a fight to the death?
If this match took place inside the Cell, it would be a lose-lose scenario.