At Extreme Rules, a lot of stuff will be happening. That is one thing we can be sure of. But out of the nearly limitless number of things that could potentially happen, some are worse than others. It’s just science.
But when Extreme Rules goes on air this Sunday from Pittsburgh, what’s the worst that could happen?
Imagine this: Shinsuke Nakamura and Jeff Hardy are having an absolutely great match. It’s 15 minutes of high-paced action, filled with counters, reversals, and near falls. It is described by many people as “pretty good.” As the match reaches full-speed, the two men brawl outside and get counted out. The referee has no choice but to declare it a no contest. On Extreme Rules, no less.
The following Smackdown, GM Paige announces that the two will face off again in a No Disqualification match. The match happens, and it’s pretty great. The two men display great chemistry, and the action is as smooth as a rock that was eroded for the past 500 million years.
The two men are angry with each other, and so they perform a double dick kick. Both men are counted out because they cannot answer the referee’s count of 10. Despite it being a No Disqualification Match, there is still no clear winner.
The feud extends to September at whatever PPV is happening in September. The two will settle their beef in a Last Man Standing match, a stipulation Nakamura picked after beating Hardy in a non-title match. Hardy retains after a violent match, and the feud ends.
What if, out of all the matches on the card at Extreme Rules, the one given the most time is the Extreme Rules match between Nia Jax and Alexa Bliss? How crazy would that be?
In order to draw Heel Heat™, the five foot Alexa Bliss keeps Nia Jax in various headlocks and rest holds for the first 15 minutes. The audience does their routine “clapping so the face can break out of the lock” but then every time the claps reach a crescendo, Bliss just keeps the headlock on tighter. Finally, Jax breaks out, grabs a kendo stick, and prepares to straight up murder Alexa Bliss. Suddenly, Mickie James appears and fights Nia Jax. Natalya runs out to fight James, and then the entire Raw women’s division is in the ring. Even Dana Brooke.
Suddenly, Ronda Rousey jumps the barricade with a steel chair in hand and just mows down everyone in the ring. Steel chair hit after steel chair hit knocks out the entire women’s division. Even Nia Jax and Alexa Bliss are victims of Rousey’s assault. Then Rousey pulls Bliss onto Jax for the cover so that she will be the one to beat Alexa Bliss for the Raw Women’s Championship at Summerslam. Long term booking.
It’s down to the wire. It’s the 28th minute of the Ironman match, and due to an obscene amount of superkicks, the score between Seth Rollins and Dolph Ziggler is all tied up at 14 – 14. As the clock continues to count down, Rollins hits Ziggler with “The Knee!” out of nowhere and breaks the tie with 12 seconds to spare.
The next night on Raw, Rollins handily defeats Ziggler in a rematch. Drew McIntyre attempts to ambush Rollins after the match, but Roman Reigns comes to the rescue. Rollins turns to his brother and says, “ya know, Roman, I couldn’t have done this without you. I’d like you to have this.” Rollins relinquishes his Intercontinental title and gives it to Roman.
Rollins then spends the next few months feuding with Mojo Rawley and Mike Kanellis.
As Bobby Lashley and Roman Reigns prepare to duke it out at Extreme Rules, they come to a shocking realization: love is more powerful than hate. As they make their ways to the ring, Lashley grabs a mic and says “we will not fight in the main event, right here, at Extreme Rules. I’ve learned that Extreme doesn’t rule; matter of fact, it’s kinda lame.”
Reigns chimes in to say “You’re damn right, brother Bobby.” The two men hug it out in the center of the ring. Suddenly, Jack Swagger’s music hits, and Swagger rushes to the ring.”I’m gonna be a big problem, man,” he says. Reigns hits him with a Superman Punch and Lashley does his suplex. Extreme Rules ends with Lashley and Reigns standing over the body of Jack Swagger.