Payback is happening this Sunday, and we’re all looking forward to the certifiably spooky House of Horrors match. With all the hype surrounding the event, it’s easy to forget it’s had some real duds. In the four different events under the moniker, and not all have been great. Not all have been atrocious, either, but that’s not the point. The point is, some matches absolutely sucked, and here they are, in list form.
5. Kofi Kingston v. Bo Dallas (Payback 2014)
You want to know why Kane is in that picture and Bo Dallas isn’t? Because the “match” was 32 seconds long before Kane showed up and attacked Kofi Kingston. The explanation for it all? “Kofi Kingston criticized the Authority, so Kane attacked him, hurr durr.”
For some crazy reason, they decided to shave time off Cesaro v. Sheamus, RybAxel v. the Rhodes Brothers, and Rusev v. Big E so Kane could come in and do his thing. This would have been fine on a Smackdown or Raw, but Payback? What was WWE thinking? Were they even thinking? That is a question I’ve found myself asking more and more.
I am sort of cheating with this entry, though, since the match never really took place, but I’m writing the list, so I’ll do whatever I want. Read on.
4. Rusev v. John Cena (Payback 2015)
This was the final match in the hilariously lopsided feud between Rusev and John Cena, and by god did they absolutely slam the brakes on Rusev’s momentum. For reasons we may never really know, the powers that be decided to have the Bulgarian lose three straight pay-per-view matches to Big Match John. When I get to heaven I’ll make sure to ask God just what happened.
The match went on for nearly half an hour, and the first fifteen minutes or so are absolutely plodding. A few predictable spots later, and things finally seem to be picking up, with the two men beating the hell out of each other. Cena passed out, but guess what? He didn’t lose, since he didn’t quit! He then performs a comeback that would make Hulk Hogan jealous and used the ring ropes in his “submission” move, the STF. Rusev began grunting, Lana said he quit, and that was it.
Rusev never really recovered from being beaten so decisively. He did that abysmal angle with Dolph Ziggler and Summer Rae, joined the
J.O.B Squad League of Nations, and was fed to Roman Reigns. Really, while this wasn’t the worst match ever, it still sucks because of what it did to Rusev.